Wedding Bells

You know when weddings start getting scary? When the ones getting married, are your friends. It's scarier when they are younger to you.

So I just got back from these classmates wedding (both) and you know, what is the one thing that struck me the most? No matter who doesn't like what, it'll never show on their faces. There will be eyebrows raised, questions asked, but never a confirmation.

So all in all, a great wedding.

Also doesn't the look in the parents' eyes just make you feel like crying... It's this one of pride, depression and exhaustion. I don't know what else is there... But it sure brings a tear to mine.

There's something about porn!

When you've you grown up in a boarding school environment, porn isn't the most easily accessible thing. And even more so when you are a junior. You have to kiss some serious ass, wash a whole lot of clothes and give up your chicken piece on Sundays. And after all this, if you were lucky, you got a porn magazine. Which you ask? Oh, well, Debonair - THE LOCAL EDITION.

Now, I know what the men are thinking. You had to do all that for a Deb. YES. You're in boarding. You are not allowed outside campus and your dorm mates are all boys. Ahh, see you get what I mean. You don't get access to Playboys, etc. till a little later.

And women, I know what you're thinking, I am not sending my kid to boarding. Just hold on for a second, most of the guys who agreed to the earlier point went to day schools. They had better access. Yes, we had access too, but it was much later. And it was seriously monitored.

What? It was one magazine that had to be shared among 25 guys.

Ya, so porn then was a big deal. Femina was erotica and a Cosmo, full-fledged porn. So a Debonair was well... er...you know...

But now, it's just so much more accessible. All of a sudden, couples are watching it together, seeking inspiration and trying to attempt what they see, which might not be very healthy. I mean, where is the foreplay, the courting, the stuff that we actually read about. Not the stuff you read now on desibaba and various other sites.

When was the last time, you saw porn where the man actually waits for the woman to orgasm. It only gets worse for the woman when the man does. Not only is it demeaning and disrespectful, it's also fake.

The reason behind this article was something I read, about where the guy threatened to break up and tell everyone that he had slept with her, if she didn't do... well... porn stuff.

This new MMS thingie is making us all voyeuristic without even realising it. It's scary.

What happened to good old Debbie does Dallas? Classic Erotica that encapsulated stories and was based on real life incidents. (And no, I am not talking about hot pizza delivery girls).

Wish someone could bring back the innocence of pornography (Not paedophilia). Yes, there is innocence in it. I've experienced it.

Let's 49-O the shit out of these guys.

Got this as a one of those chain mail thingies, but just had to put it up here, with a few edits, to make it more suitable for my blog.

Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1969 act, in section "49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone.

There is such a feature is available, but obviously these seemingly nefarious (one of those edits) politicians have never disclosed. This is called "49-O".

Why should you go and say "I VOTE NOBODY"?

Well, because, in a ward, if a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling stands cancelled and will have to be re-polled.

Not just that, but the candidature of the contestants is revoked and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their decision on them.

This can change the way, of our whole political system. It's no wonder then why the election commission hasn't revealed such a law to the public.

This seems like a wonderful weapon against corrupt politicians. And with the upcoming elections, show your power. Because expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more powerful than voting.

So either vote, or vote not to vote (vote 49-O). But go there, dammit.

Earth... We have a problem.

You know what I just realised that we soon won't have any inspirations. No think about it, all are inspirations are dead, old or getting there. And I am not just talking films. I am also talking music, advertising, cooking, computers, sports and almost everything .

Amitabh Bachchan, Naseeruddin Shah, William Shakespeare, David E. Kelley, Metallica, Sting, Yan Can Cook, Van Gogh, Ralph Lauren, Rushdie, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Marta Kaufman, Clint Eastwood, Pink Floyd, Sachin Tendulkar, Ang Lee, Beethoven, Yash Chopra, Ed Harris, Jack Lemmon, Jamie Glynhall, Sir Don Bradman, Yves Saint Lauren, Robert Ludlum, Al Pacino, Lady Di, Jim Morrison, Piyush Pandey, Pele, Margaret Thatcher, Neil French, Franz Kafka, Amar Bose, Mohandas K. Gandhi, Woody Allen, Robert DeNiro, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Emily Bronte, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, U2, Warren Beatty, Aamir Khan, Trevor Beattie, Mozart, Albert Einstein, David Droga, Laloo Prasad Yadav, Kevin S. Bright, Sylvia Plath, Sam Manekshaw, Samuel Beckett, Walter Zenga, Dustin Hoffman, David Abbot, Sean Penn, Mark Knopfler, Jeremy Irons, Martin Luther King, Meryl Streep, GNR, Douglas Adams, Jean-Luc Godard, Stephen Fry, Jack Nicholson, Martin Scorsesse, Tom Hanks, Shahrukh Khan, Mira Nair, Ratan Tata, Richard Dreyfus, Walter Matthau, you get the picture.

Not in that order obviously.

Now, I am no big Shahrukh fan, but the man's got his fans. One must respect that. And why Laloo, well because the guy turned a loss-making government venture into a profit making machine in one year, without reducing prices, cutting staff, schedules or even affecting traffic. He also gave a lecture to LSE about the same topic. If you have no idea what I am talking about, hit alt+f4 on your keyboard now. (Ah! How I love condescension.)

Coming back...

So you see, we have a problem.

Where is our inspiration going to come from? What is it that has not been done?

From the wheel in real life to the wheel in holographic 3-d imaging (if there is such a thing) has already been done. The classic films have been made, the ads made, the theories proved, disproved and the proved again, the books have written, the plays have been written, directed, performed, read and sometimes even by the same person.

So really what is left for us to do? What achievement is expected from our generation? And are we actually going to deliver it?

We have a few sparks but will they last? Will they do something as big as these guys? Because, everything they can do has already been done?

And if it hasn't the people will say given the circumstances, the technology, even our forefathers could have done it. So everything will be compared.

So unless someone cracks the actual value of pie, without a computer, we're fucked.

It's time for us to be the inspiration to a generation who doesn't read. We're fucked.

But it's time, none the less. All the best.

Hmmmm

Stressed spelt backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.

- Anonymous

Neville Uncle

I was wearing a black t-shirt (left outside), jeans, sandals and I was carrying an Ego knapsack.

One little girl gets into the elevator and says, "Uncle, can you drop me to the second floor?"

I said, "Of course".

It only struck me after she got off that she had called me uncle. UNCLE.

I don't even know what to say. Damn, I guess it's the old age.

India's New Chief Justice...

... is a dalit and supports reservations. What a surprise and what timing?

Coincidence, divine intervention or a political master-stroke? You decide.

Guru or Dhirubhai Ambani’s most expensive PR campaign

The sad part is, that it might be effective. After all, it’s a Mani Ratnam film. And what a film it is. It’s got everything.

Style, twists, plots and a story line that’s actually made all of Gurukant Desai’s xfraudulent acts seem like an act of god.

Mani Ratnam has exposed ALMOST xall his nefarious deeds. And the end has sold the film out. You can so tell the end is force-fitted to meet the desires of the distributors.

You subtly let out hints that it’s based on Dhirubhai Ambani and set then a disclaimer right in the beginning to let everyone know that it’s a work of fiction and has no resemblance to anyone living or dead.

You let a word like that get out, and no disclaimer in the world is going to stop people from making the association. The attempts to make him a middle-class man are pathetic and so in-your-face, you wouldn’t miss it if you turned around.

And let’s just assume, that it truly was a work of fiction and the alleged inspiration was alleged by curious bystanders, then wouldn’t there be some resemblance in what they saw in the film and in the real Guru’s life before they made the allegation? That is one long, convoluted sentence.

Then promoted by adlabs, it stars Abhishek (who I must say has done a fantastic job) who’s dad is buddies with well, you know… and to add to that the they even take a pot-shot at their arch rivals. Who? See the movie, you’ll know.

It’s a brilliant film. Great performances. Ash has done a good job, but strictly by her standards and the rest of the caste, the direction, the script, the background score, etc. is EXCELLENT.

Now only if I had seen the film so soon, I could discuss events and incidents from it here. So please post your comments once you have seen the film so we can open this debate up a bit. And if you haven’t seen the movie, then don’t open the comments just yet.

PS: Mallika Sherwat is not hot.

PPS: Mithunda is back. What a performance!

Exercise in Bragging

ok.

I am up on hoardings once again. It's for the Stan C marathon. It's all over. This is just an exercise in bragging...

Please please feel free complimenting me. It's for the benefit of those who haven't seen me at all or in while. Also for those who aren't in Mumbai.

Oh what the hell do it already.

Coming up, what I learnt in 2006 (Since everyone's supposed to do it.)

And by everyone I mean, Blogger's.