To Dad
I was reading one of my favourite ads the other day. For the initiated, it’s the "To dad" ad for Chivas Regal, by David Abbott. For the uninitiated, this is the ad. Click it to read it.
Now this ad brings more than a tear to my eye every time I read it. I wonder why. It’s strange. You see I have never kept a picture of my dad, mostly because I didn't want to recognise the fact that I used to have a dad at all. Children with parents like mine come up with hundreds of ways to deal with the drama that comes with them. We have defence mechanisms, avoidance methods… all to protect ourselves and our sanity from the very person who's blood runs through our veins. Sometimes I worry that I may someday have to protect myself from myself.
I don't want to believe that his ways could be inherited, I don't want to believe that I have his eyes, his chin, or his voice… because if I acknowledge that, I may never be able to look in a mirror again.
So while the rest of the world is having picnics or enjoying a nice lunch or dinner in celebration of all the wisdom, love and genes that their fathers passed on to them, I'm having my dinner, writing this and praying I don't ever turn into the person who was my father.
Now this ad brings more than a tear to my eye every time I read it. I wonder why. It’s strange. You see I have never kept a picture of my dad, mostly because I didn't want to recognise the fact that I used to have a dad at all. Children with parents like mine come up with hundreds of ways to deal with the drama that comes with them. We have defence mechanisms, avoidance methods… all to protect ourselves and our sanity from the very person who's blood runs through our veins. Sometimes I worry that I may someday have to protect myself from myself.
I don't want to believe that his ways could be inherited, I don't want to believe that I have his eyes, his chin, or his voice… because if I acknowledge that, I may never be able to look in a mirror again.
So while the rest of the world is having picnics or enjoying a nice lunch or dinner in celebration of all the wisdom, love and genes that their fathers passed on to them, I'm having my dinner, writing this and praying I don't ever turn into the person who was my father.
posted by Neville at
2:18 pm
8 Comments:
That's possibly the first honest post I've read from you - no bullshit, no 'This might sound cool, so let's put it down', just plain 'ol straight-from-the-heart writing. Way to go, Nev. I'm very proud.
Have to agree with veda here. For the first time you were speaking to us and not at us.
A skin has been shed. Do we see an evolved Neville from today? Nah!
The insecure, immature, anxious, nervous, poetic, fucked-out funny, gum chewing, irritating, can-be-a-far-better-writer, failed flirt, oedipic, suspiciously leftist bawa is too good to let go.
Besides our family picnics sucked and the only thing that I have successfully picked up from my dad
is a pair of 'nusker and co" underpants.
Yes, Nev. I second that. Poignant and moving.
Big hug to you.
Sugarcane
The one thing I can say is- I HEAR YOU.Loud and clear. Am beginning to believe that you wear a mask to hide the pain. Am I right or wrong? I wear a mask too. Its become my second skin. Its my way of defending myself against getting hurt.
You know what..... I dont know your father. But I do know, that your efforts at being anything like him, have somewhere unconsciously made you a much more open, loving and a warm guy. I think when you settle down finally with that one girl, you will definetly make her the happiest woman alive.....
The one thing I can say is- I HEAR YOU.Loud and clear. Am beginning to believe that you wear a mask to hide the pain. Am I right or wrong? I wear a mask too. Its become my second skin. Its my way of defending myself against getting hurt.
You know what..... I dont know your father. But I do know, that your efforts at being anything like him, have somewhere unconsciously made you a much more open, loving and a warm guy. I think when you settle down finally with that one girl, you will definetly make her the happiest woman alive.....
yes yes. i'm in a agree with everything frame. yes yes. that too.
Neville i think the first thing you need to do is to FORGIVE your Dad.
That is the Best thing you can do for yourself. Please free yourself from these emotions you are holding onto so tightly.
Then such things that you come across wont bring tears in your eyes but some acceptance to what is.
hey that was really nice and straight from your heart..but i agree with neha u should forgive your dad...
mish
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